My dog sleeps with his eyes open and 7 other things that make me say ‘hmm’

Today I have taken advantage of my flexible schedule to reflect on a few things around here that make me say ‘hmm’ for one reason or another. Feel free to reflect along with me, or add your own contributions.

  1. My dog sleeps with his eyes open. Not always, and sometimes the husband and I wave our hands in his face like children and giggle about it, but when it’s just the two of us and the dog goes into REM sleepwhile staring blankly at the room, twitching, and barking softly, I get creeped out. And sometimes set a Bible next to him just in case.
    He’s sound asleep. Freaking SOUND ASLEEP and watching me! And snoring like an old man. No old man in particular though (hi, Dad!).
  2. The Washington Redskins are 1. from Washington, DC and 2. “named for” American Indians, not 1. from Washington state and 2. named for potatoes. Anyone could make this mistake.
    Photo courtesy of the Washington State Potato Commission. (See??)
  3. As a brand, Dawn has not the sudsing power of Palmolive. This is very curious to me and I resent it a bit, having finished a bottle of Palmolive and replaced it with 20 oz. of Dawn. All dish soaps are not created equal. Fun fact: I went to college with twins named Dawn and Joy. We called them the dish soap twins. They were Canadian. Maybe their parents didn’t realize.
    Lies. All lies.
  4. Tomatoes. They pop like zits and they taste like dirt, yet people love them and enter them in contests.
    Egad! They’re multiplying! Tomatoes are only palatable in recipes. See for details, and thanks to the other middle for the ‘mato photo.
  5. The grocery store sells some really great books (i.e., new biographies, The Help, Harry Potter) alongside some really crappy books (i.e., anything with a man’s thigh featured prominently on the cover). The juxtaposition intrigues me and commands a certain respect.
    The blog is rated PG-13 so I can make points like this.
  6. The importance of having a library card. “Have you gotten a library card yet?” seems to be one of the first questions people ask when you move to a new area. In fact I have gotten an Arlington library card but only to shut down potential follow-up questions about why not. I don’t like reading library books and it has everything to do with encountering one too many pages stuck together with boogers.
    Virtually the only way to guarantee a non-contagious reading experience.
  7. The scar from surgery on Martha (in my head I call it her front door…unless…that’s Martha talking AHHHHHH) itches constantly and when I scratch it, not only do I feel like I look like (follow that?) I have fleas, but the tiny hairs that were growing there fall out, adding insult to injury. Also adding insult to injury is the fact that I don’t have any sensation on the left side of my head except for the itching. #thingstheydidntmention
    Little Miss Itchy.
  8. Facebook friend requests from people I don’t know.
    The only acceptable form of made-up friend.

2 thoughts on “My dog sleeps with his eyes open and 7 other things that make me say ‘hmm’

  1. I also sleep with my eyes open at times, or at least I used to on family car trips and it would freak my brother out.

    The Facebook thing reminds me of two Internet-related hmmm moments for me:

    1) I have a YouTube account because I like being able to save videos to watch again, and I get spam requests like “may we add your photo to our page?” Who goes for this, and do those people also send their banking information if asked?

    2) And I have a account (Malvolia, in case you are bored or interested) because I am a writing nerd and I get spam requests like “hi i think you would like my story please read & review!!” Without the person ever reviewing my stories. Why?

    • ha! i believe the answer to question #2 is “for the same reason the siblings of people you met through casual friends at a get-together you didn’t really want to go to five weeks ago send you facebook friend requests.” in short: no reason. we are simply left shaking our heads.

Shout at me.

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