“You’re on a roll this week”

…said a friend commenting on my most recent Facebook status about how Verizon Wireless had the privilege of hearing from me today, after billing us incorrectly and copping an attitude with the husband over the phone.

Like I said yesterday, I’m happy to sort things out calmly when something is wrong on one end or the other, but don’t send your punk college intern with a bad attitude and what I imagine is worse breath to do a grown up’s job or you will get a call from me.

The husband and I are a great pair, the classic good cop-bad cop. Please don’t over-think it, it should be obvious. Add pregnancy to the bad cop and it’s somewhat impressive that I haven’t actually eaten alive a customer service rep this week.

Don’t poke the bear.

Anyway, Verizon didn’t bill us last month and then called today to ask why we hadn’t paid the bill, which now has late fees attached. Well, it did have late fees attached until mama bear called. We’ll pay the bill, sure–we owe it–but it has late fees because you dropped the ball. And I don’t pick up other people’s balls. (Yep, I said it.)

Drop your balls and you’re on your own, I promise you.

Fortunately I didn’t have to pull out the big guns and get all, “I pay your rent, jackass! You want to waive something as a courtesy? Waive THIS!” on them, and the issue was resolved. For a reduced price.

Lessons:

1. Late fees are always negotiable. You just have to ask.

2. The people companies use to call customers who are behind or “behind” on payments have nothing to lose. Don’t engage with these morons, talk to the people above them, whose mortgages depend on keeping customers happy.

3. Don’t apologize for someone else’s mistake or for making them take the time to correct it. I’m not sorry you are fixing your own error and I will accept your apology for the inconvenience of having to call you.

4. Make sure the error actually is on their end before going all Erin Brockovich on someone. (Future blog post about this.)

5. Always say thank you. By this time, the people on the other end are scared of you and who you might call next, and really, there’s no need to ruin someone’s day. Especially if that someone waived the late fees and apologized.

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3 thoughts on ““You’re on a roll this week”

  1. Pingback: Them’s goode readers, they is « red white and new

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