I have to say something, Sandberg told me so

Lose it. Even if it's one of these.

Lose it. Even if it’s one of these.

Last night the little sister and I were walking together and our conversation turned to a topic that annoys us both equally. Thinking about it later I felt strongly that this is a definite gray area; on one hand (that’s a pun actually, you’ll see) who cares and on the other hand if no one says anything, are we letting other women down? Having just finished Sheryl Sandberg’s book Lean In, I feel it’s incumbent upon me to say something, while some may think I still need to just live and let live. But I’d let you know if you had something in your teeth, so I’m going to let you know when you have something else to address in your appearance. I’ll get to my point: Unless you’re working out, about to work out, just finished working out, or hanging around your house in workout clothes and doing nothing all day, lose the hair tie around your wrist.

Just lose it. At best it’s tacky, at worse it’s juvenile and unhygienic. Women in business suits, having been one of you, I’m talking especially to you. Nothing shoots your capable-and-with-it credibility in the foot like handing someone your engraved business card and having the crisp sleeve of your Ann Taylor suit jacket ride up your wrist to reveal a skinny (or fat! some women wear the fat ones–ahhh!!!!!) hair rubber band righttherejustincase you need to whip your hair into a ponytail during your meeting. You’d never do that, right? (RIGHT??) Ditch the hair tie, it’s gross and childish.

I saw a woman in church this week with one of the thick hair ties around her wrist. It looked really super awesome and cool with her 3-carat diamond ring. Not. It looked like she was playing grown up and it reminded me how often I see this blunder. You wouldn’t let your tampon stick out the top of your pocket or hold your lipstick in your hand during a business meeting, so why would you let other tools of the trade parade about so obviously on your person in a place they clearly don’t belong?

Oh, but redwhiteandnew, a lot of women use those hair ties that look like little ribbons. (See above). I know they do, and that’s fine, as long as those overpriced little buggers aren’t along for the ride on your wrist. They’re still hair ties, thank you, and you’re not fooling anyone. Well, you’re not fooling any other women. People who doesn’t know what those are probably think your youngest cousin made you a friendship bracelet at summer camp and now you feel obligated to wear it at all times everywhere for always. Because that’s what those hair ties look like.

Let’s put it this way: If you have business cards for your job, lose the hair tie. If you have a job, lose the hair tie. It’s gross. It’s tacky. It’s juvenile. It says “I’m not comfortable enough in my own skin to decide how I’m going to look today and then go with it for the duration” and while the rest of your outfit may suggest that you’re capable and put together, the stupid hair tie says, further, “I lack attention to detail and I need this crappy little security blanket to come to my big girl job.” One day you’ll be shaking hands with someone important, or handing out copies of your legislative overview and a rogue hair or two will waft ethereally from what would be your otherwise-professional wrist. Now that’s a classy move. It goes nicely with the oregano in your teeth.

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